This is a 5 Part Series which includes:
- Balancing Ambition And Motherhood: Important Things You Need To Know
- 5 Modern Myths Out To Crush Your Ambition and Steal Your Soul
- 3 Major Reasons Why Mothers Must Pursue Their Ambitions
- 5 Proven Steps To Help You Balance Ambition and Motherhood
- Ambition vs Motherhood: How These 27 Boss Moms Do Balance
In the beginning of this series, I said that everything they say ambition and motherhood is a lie.
Moms must not dial down their ambitions to accommodate societal expectations. They should create a lifestyle they love and deserve!
Here are some of the reasons why it rocks to be an ambitious mama.
Ambition helps a mother stay fulfilled and happy which is in turn great for everyone.
- You have your own money. As an ambitious woman, you know the thrill of earning for yourself and what it does to your mood as a whole. If you are like me, you do not know how to ask for money so when you don’t have any, you suffer in silence.
Earning money yourself means you can spend on the things YOU want. You can do your hair, buy new clothes, and pay for exciting adventures for your kids without having to worry about your family budget. And you can buy your partner a freaking birthday gift (goodbye compulsory DIY projects).Earning money yourself means you can spend on the things YOU want. You can pay for exciting adventures for your kids without having to worry about your family budget. And you can buy your partner a freaking birthday gift (goodbye compulsory DIY projects).Click To Tweet
- You have a creative outlet. Doing something other than changing diapers and baby talk all day will help relieve stress usually associated with raising little kids. You get to do what you love and help other people with your business which brings us to the next point.
- You feel like an active participant both in your own life and in the society. You are contributing to society with the special gift or passion that you have. If you want to look at it squarely, it’s actually really selfish to bless only your child with your love. What would become of society if every mom decided to unnecessarily sacrifice their ambitions, dreams and passions for their children. Note I say unnecessarily.
I’m not saying all moms should get a job or start a business, it may be your neighbor’s ambition to have kids and live a peaceful life as a farmer’s wife and that’s cool. But I’m talking to you.
If moms like you and I who go surfing the internet for thoughts on pursuing ambition in motherhood were to give up our dreams, we would be miserable. You know why? Because it takes a longing to start searching, the desire to be something more than just mom is already there and eating at your soul.
- Less time to spend begets quality relationships. You spend time with the people you love not because you have to but because you want to and that desire to be there shows in that time you actually spend there. You make a conscious effort to enjoy yourself and make that period memorable. You focus on the things that matter like hugs, and joyful noise and forgo things like building picture perfect sand castles for instagram stories (I don’t even know what that means).
- There is less pressure to have a perfect child. You are living a fulfilled life (or at least a semblance of it), everyone is happy and you begin to understand that your worth as a mother is not tied to how well mannered your child is.
- Without money arguments, your relationship thrives. It’s no longer a case where you resent your husband for not giving you the life you think you deserve when you are giving him the best family in the world (clean house, kids in line that’s all there is to it right?). You take responsibility for yourself and for your own happiness which is good for everyone.
Having an ambitious mother who crushes her goals helps set a child up for good success.
- Your kids will realize that they can be anything. Having so many important commitments yet finding the time to chase and actualize your dreams will help you kids remember that where there is a will, there is always a way.
- He realizes he doesn’t have to step on toes to win. One special effect motherhood has on women is that it makes us brim with love and that love transcends into everything we do. As a loving mother, you can’t imagine using someone only for your own gain and your kids start to pick up on that. You also don’t do anything unethical because there are standards you are modeling for your child.
- Having ambition means better facilities and resources for your child. Mark Zuckerberg wouldn’t be the facebook guy if he didn’t have access to a computer he could tinker on. The best minds in tech go to MIT not some local college, they got the best environment, education and connections from there. A lot of truly successful people have one thing in common, they piggybacked off their parents success no matter how small. It’s much easier to go from middle-class to upper class than it is from lower class.
But it’s not just so they can be rich and have fancy cars, it’s so they can live a life where they actually have choices, where they can choose to not have a fancy car because they don’t need it or even don’t want it rather than just because they can’t afford it.
Where they aren’t afraid to take risks. That is the life I want for my kids.
- Children with loving and ambitious moms will learn self-discipline and time management. He’s seen you several times opt out of a Netflix session to work on your project. He’s seen you value time as the most expensive commodity and it becomes ingrained in him too. Your values become his values, there’s a lot to learn here. How to wait for a better bargain (2 cookies tomorrow vs one today), how to do things quicker and smarter.
- Your child will feel free to pursue his passion. The reason most people end up in a boring 9 – 5 is because of the perceived security therein. A child with an ambitious mother will know that it’s ok to follow his dreams even if there is a chance it will fail. Because he’s seen her take risks and he’s been affected by her enough to know that if he didn’t at least try, he would end up with regrets.
Having ambition means that you never become a burden to your child.
- Financially, you should have enough saved up that your kid doesn’t always need to sacrifice cash he’s saved up for something else when you fall sick or need surgery. Even though they should totally pay if they can afford it, it becomes a choice they make. You also have enough to spoil your future grandkids with. Yay!
- Your child feels no guilt about choosing things he wants. His decision to move to New York for a job with less pay or to choose a career he loves but you don’t will cause him less guilt. I’m not saying he’s going to be totally inconsiderate or “blast it all”, only he wouldn’t be hindered when he thinks of you.
- You don’t live your ambitions through your child. There are no unreasonable expectations like reading before age 3, or getting scholarship offers from all 5 Ivy league colleges on your list so you can justify your choice to stay home with him.
This all sounds good in theory right?
You pursue your ambitions, start an online business or blog that rocks, and spend leisure time with your kiddo who, by the way, gets all these amazing benefits of having an ambitious mom.
But the reality of it, the one that is keeping many women like you from chasing their dreams is that it doesn’t work that way, at least not exactly.
Online businesses while they give you the chance to stay home with your kids are not necessarily easier to run than an actual physical business.
There’s a lot of time commitment and if you are really serious, a bit of financial commitment as well.
If you do it the usual way, you spend months or even years of donkey labor without any real guarantee of success.
Even my way takes up to 2 – 3 months of hard work upfront before you’ll be able to start hiring any outside help (you need to completely know your business first).
I don’t say all this to discourage you, I just want you to understand that I don’t discount the struggles of the ambitious mom.
Actually, findingbalance.mom is only here because of those struggles.
I think moms should be able to stay home with their kids while living out their ambitions so I test out strategies, find the ones that work best, and share them with you, voila!
Psst! Want to start a blog? You don’t have to waste a year (that you don’t have) chasing your own tail like I did. If you would like to start a blog and run it like a business from day one, use this free guide and checklist.
Whatever you decide, I don’t want you languishing in depression like I did, you deserve to have a life YOU love, a life that’s centered on you and the things you care about.
Don’t just choose to be a stay at home mom because your children need you. They also need you to be happy, to chase your dreams and show them that anything is attainable if you want it badly enough.
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Freelance writer, graphic designer and mother. Lily helps young moms who are eager to break into the online business world quickly build online empires of their own. Her motto is “Do smarter, have all”.