As soon as you get married, they say it is no longer just about you. I surely agree with that because the family you are building with your husband becomes a major part of you.
But the question is, why do Mommies tend to forget about themselves when it comes to prioritizing what truly matters? Why do they think that just because they have given so much love to the entire family, they no longer have any left for themselves?
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In this article, I will talk about the balance of giving love to yourself and your family. I will point out positive changes that will occur once you start loving yourself more and how you can do these. If you think it is only right for mommies to prioritize themselves and love themselves more than how they have, then read on.
What You Can Do to Start Loving Yourself More
Along with the tips, I will also be including how these tips could positively impact the kind of mommy life you are living at the moment.
•Every day, look for something to make you smile
No matter how your day goes, no matter how busy, how frustrating, how long and hard your day has been, don’t forget to always breathe slowly and find a reason to smile. In hard times, that’s the only thing you can do for yourself. Start with that to make things lighter for you.
I remember when I was still a stay at home mom, juggling chores plus taking care of 2 little boys. They were both under 3 that time and everything just felt so exhausting and a little too much to deal with.
Yet, every time I felt overwhelmed, I look at my little boys and tell myself that I have something others have wished for. I am blessed and lucky to be their Mom. Then I would truly start feeling thankful. And when I smile, I don’t do it just with my lips. I do it from my heart so that, that positivity would counter the prior negativity. Yes, it might not solve the problems or take away all the sadness in the world, but if you smile and practice gratitude constantly, it will affect your vibe and mood positively.
•Your Opinion Matters Too, Speak Up
Whenever you feel uncomfortable, you feel like you have a point to share, or you need to say “NO”, don’t hesitate to speak up. Voice out what’s inside you. If you have an opinion over a family matter, tell your husband what your thoughts are and share some ideas which may be better than his.
If someone asks you for commitments you are not sure you could handle, if it’s giving you stress and worries, know that you can say “No”, and it’s okay. More than anything else, give yourself that freedom to be able to decide what truly matters to you.
•Take Care of Your Body
They say after giving birth, there is no longer a need to go to a salon for pampering, you no longer need to dress up because you don’t need to impress anyone anymore. Some even say it’s okay to slack down and look like a typical stay at home “Mommy”. Trust me, I understand how it’s easier to do that because I’ve been a Stay at Home Mom for almost four years.
But when I started taking care of my body more, my self-esteem and confidence rose. I appreciate myself more whenever I look in the mirror, and of course, I get compliments from my husband almost every time he lays his eyes on me.
Your body has done so much for you during the process of helping you build your family. Imagine, it housed your children for 9 months(per pregnancy), it went through excruciating pain upon the delivery of your child, not to mention how much you were sleep-deprived while taking care of your newborn baby who kept you up at night. Just imagine that.
Then tell me, do you think your body deserves all the junk food and soft drinks? How about the fatty foods without any nutrients that would only taste good but won’t do any good for your body? Say no. Exercise regularly, take vitamins, be careful of what you eat, eat healthier, be healthier.
•Establish a regular Me-Time
This is important, trust me! Whenever you have regular time checking yourself, doing what you love, de-stressing, and taking time to refresh yourself from all the negativity, you will be able to love and appreciate yourself more.
Thus, this can be a way for you to feel good, you can even become more productive inside the house or at work.
•Slow Down and Take Time to Understand Yourself and Your Emotions
Mothers can become so busy taking care of the emotional needs of everyone in the family that they ignore theirs. Teenage kids undergoing puberty stage, toddlers who are very curious over everything and never stop exploring, a husband who is stressed out over meeting his deadlines- everybody’s emotions in the family is Mom’s business, and sometimes, she’d even forget how to assert her own emotions as well. No Mommy, that’s wrong.
More than anyone else, it is you who is in charge of your feelings, emotions, and actions so take time to understand them. Being a mother and a wife is not an easy task. You can’t just close your eyes, and pretend the issues aren’t there, because the moment you open your eyes, everything will still be there staring right at you.
After giving birth, most mothers experience baby blues, changes in emotions, constant mood swings, and the very well-known Postpartum Depression. It is not easy to deal with your emotions sometimes. You can be happy now, then angry and feeling terrible the next minute. It is truly unexplainable by mere words, but please do take time to evaluate your emotions. Whenever you are feeling down, decide if it is worth dwelling on, and try your best to let go of the burden. Give yourself the chance to recognize, express, and work through your own emotions too.
If you think you are having a hard time handling your emotions and you think you have Postpartum Depression, here is an article to help you evaluate if what you have are signs of PPD.
https://www.mothersheknows.com/how-to-know-if-you-have-postpartum-depression/
•Forgive yourself
If your child fell off and you weren’t as fast as lightning to catch him before he hit the ground, it’s okay because that’s part of the process – for him to keep balance, he must fall a few times first. You tried cooking grilled salmon belly because that’s your husband’s favorite, but you ended up burning one side of it, that’s okay because as long as you keep trying your best, your husband will see your efforts and appreciate you even more. As long as the salmon is still edible, then you’re good to go! You can still serve a lovely dinner.
As a mother and a wife, every day will be a learning process for you. And even after so many years, there is no guarantee that everything will just go smoothly as you want it to. From time to time, you will fail, you will make mistakes, and that’s okay.
For Stay At Home Moms…
If you are a stay at home mom and you feel like every day is a struggle, you feel like you can no longer be productive because of your failures and emotions getting in the way, here is an article about tips on how to survive as a stay at home mom. Truly, being a SAHM is one of the most challenging parts of a mom’s life. You need all the help you can get, and this article is a wonderful read, full of tips and hacks for survival as a Stay at Home Mom.
https://www.mothersheknows.com/survival-tips-for-sahm/
After many years of challenging phases, I realized that as a mother and wife, you are the light that radiates to your family, and your family is the reflection of what you are as a mother and wife.
Your husband can never be a successful husband if he has a negative and nagging wife. Instead, it will drag him down. The kids will never be cheerful and lovely if all they see is a Monster mom who does nothing but yell at them and get angry at their little clumsiness.
For your family to love you, be loveable. Of course, it’s okay to cry, be mad, and nag if you must. But see to it that after everything, your family still sees that beautiful wife and wonderful mother that you are deep inside.
Love yourself more, bring out the best in you, so you can be the best version of the “woman” that your family truly deserves!
Post Credit: Karen (https://www.mothersheknows.com/)
