The number one reason moms feel overwhelmed and mother with guilt is because “ideal mom”.
This idea of her just stands there laughing in your face, daring you to be as perfect as she is.
*This post may contain affiliate links at no extra cost to you. See disclosure for details.
You bite and the chaotic thrill that motherhood is supposed to be becomes something else for you; a chase for the unattainable.
This is a 5 Part Series which includes:
- Balancing Ambition And Motherhood: Important Things You Need To Know
- 5 Modern Myths Out To Crush Your Ambition and Steal Your Soul
- 3 Major Reasons Why Mothers Must Pursue Their Ambitions
- 5 Proven Steps To Help You Balance Ambition and Motherhood
- Ambition vs Motherhood: How These 27 Boss Moms Do Balance
Even moms who decide to forego workplace ambitions and build blog based businesses still suffer from guilt and self doubt even though they have more flexible schedules.
See if you recognize any pattern below.
Nothing else makes you suck at mothering more than stress levels that are through the roof and constant doubts about your parenting ability.
In other words, when you lack the confidence you need and feel stressed about your parenting decisions, it becomes difficult to be consistent, sensitive and responsive.
There’s also research data to prove that it’s bad when you try to be the good mom as defined by society, or worse social media. You can find all about it at here but since my major goal with this website is to help you, lift you up and empower you to live the life you want, not cause depression, we are debunking the famous myths attached to mothering with ambition.
[click_to_tweet tweet=”Don’t let these myths about motherhood and ambition stop you.” quote=”Don’t let these myths about motherhood and ambition stop you.”]
Psst: Your J.O.B. not allowing it ==> One of the most flexible and fulfilling ways to balance both ambition and motherhood is through starting a blog or an online business, then getting rid of a mindset that says you are not enough. Don’t ever be told that you are not enough, especially by yourself.
MYTH #1 Wanting To Work Means You Don’t Love Your Kids Enough To Feel Fulfilled By Them.
The Truth: Wanting to work means you love them enough to make a concerted effort to create a life that you truly love. Because it’s only when you love your life that you can be the best mom you need to be for them.
You also create a more secure future for them by showing them that anything is possible if you have the drive, faith, and discipline to chase it.
Doing fulfilling work allows you to be an authentic mom not the duty mom. Denying your desires preempts resentment and you know this to be true.
[click_to_tweet tweet=”You a secure future for your kids by showing them that anything is possible if you have the drive, faith, and discipline to chase it. Learn more…” quote=”You a secure future for your kids by showing them that anything is possible if you have the drive, faith, and discipline to chase it.”]
MYTH #2 You can’t be a good mom if you work.
The Truth: Working to earn money is not so different from doing your normal house chores. Your kids can get a chance to help out, learn something new and even try out independence (which is great for them).
Playing with your kids and hovering over them all the time in the name of ‘good’ parenting will not help them neither will it keep them safe and it most certainly won’t help you.
Myth #3 You should feel guilt every time you are away from your kids.
The Truth: We only feel guilt when our mindset is programmed with ideologies of the societal definition of the good mom. It is our number one responsibility to take care of ourselves and sometimes that requires that we be away from them for a while.
Guilt only surfaces when you doubt your heart and the reason why you are doing this.
You are not selfish, you are simply a self-aware woman who has decided to show her children what self-respect, self-love and independence mean.
Myth #4 The Chaos will eat you up.
The Truth: Motherhood is meant to be messy, it always has been.
Dirty kid = healthy, happy kid, it’s as simple as that.
There is joy in finding the lost pair of sock under the couch, there is joy in picking it up and looking knowingly at the culprit who is probably thinking at that moment “mom is a genius”.
Let go of perceptions of perfection, you are building a home not running a hotel.
Do what you can to stay organized but don’t get so hung up on it that you lose sight of the bigger picture.
[click_to_tweet tweet=”There is joy in finding the lost pair of sock under the couch, there is joy in picking it up and looking knowingly at the culprit who is probably thinking at that moment “mom is a genius”.” quote=”There is joy in finding the lost pair of sock under the couch, there is joy in picking it up and looking knowingly at the culprit who is probably thinking at that moment “mom is a genius”. Learn more… #parenting #motherhood #ambition”]
Myth #5 Only Super moms should run businesses.
The Truth: A ‘super mom’ is, technically speaking, a worn out woman, don’t try to be one.
It’s not okay to give, give and never receive.
I say ask for help from everyone who’s willing to help.
Ask your husband, your kids, your mother, inlaws, friends even strangers, ask them all for help.
Two adults WILL find it hard to keep tabs on 1 baby so why shouldn’t moms ask for help? That baby isn’t yours alone, she belongs to the village.
What does this all mean for ambition in motherhood?
This my friend is call for celebration for us ambitious mamas!
It means we can AND SHOULD pursue self fulfillment (it is the same thing as ambition, right?).
Writer Justine Musk in her blog post Why Ambition and Motherhood Go Hand In Hand describes ambition as the greatest form of mothercare and she couldn’t be further from the truth.
There are way too many benefits your child gets from having a loving yet ambitious mother. To develop a parenting strategy which gives room for pursuing your ambitions is healthy and rewarding for you, your relationships and your children. We talk about this more in the next post 3 Major Reasons Why Mothers Must Pursue Their Ambitions.
Yet even without those benefits for your child, you as a mother should fight for a life you love, the only life you truly deserve.
It really doesn’t take as much time (eventually) as it may seem to build a thriving blog based business and the scalability of it is awesome, this is why I advocate starting a blog-biz.
What it takes is drive, discipline and sacrifice which when placed alongside, results in super productivity. Many mothers who decide to go after careers outside the home already know this and that is why they are usually more effective than the average workplace employee.
Remember, balance is doing just enough of the important things to stay centered and afloat. You can get more balance when you have more time and more time is gotten by being effective with the tools and resources you have.
Set your priorities right, use tools, learn from people who have done this before you and don’t try to DIY all the time.
[click_to_tweet tweet=”…balance is doing just enough of the important things to stay centered and afloat. You can do it too!” quote=”…balance is doing just enough of the important things to stay centered and afloat. You can do it too!”]
Please consider sharing if you enjoyed this post. Every share counts!
Latest posts by Lily Ugbaja (see all)
- How to Look Like a Pro Blogger (Impress & Make Money From Day One) - February 12, 2019
- Graphic Design for Bloggers: The Why, How & Must Knows (with Kara Fidd) - January 28, 2019
- 10 Best Mom Blogs to Follow for Blogging Tips (in 2019) - January 17, 2019